Heather Denham, 30, tragically lost her baby girl, Jorgia, at 20 weeks and after experiencing two miscarriages previously, the news was devastating.

“After I hit the 12 week mark, I thought that everything was going to be okay. Jorgia just grew and I had just started to feel her move.

“I remember hearing the doctor tell me that they couldn’t find a heartbeat and I just went numb.

“I just thought about all of the plans I had for her and all the wee things I had bought, it was all just ripped away in that moment.”

Having gone through a miscarriage before, Heather thought she knew what to expect. However, she didn’t realise that because of how far along she was she would have to go back to the hospital to give birth to Jorgia.

“I couldn’t wrap my head around it. How can you expect anyone to give birth to a dead baby?

“I have never been in a situation worse than that, it’s the worst possible thing that could happen.

“As my husband Gary, and I were leaving the labour ward, with our memory box, we passed a new dad with his baby in a carrier. I just dropped to the floor, the pain was too much.”

Managing grief

Heather describes the months to follow as a “blur”, finding it difficult to interact with friends and family.

Baby Loss Retreat stepped in to help Heather during her grief and provided a lifeline for her and her family.

The charity provides emotional and psychological support to parents who have suffered a baby loss through miscarriage, stillborn, IVF, neonatal death, or medical termination.

Offering 1-2 –1 support, counselling, trauma therapy, peer-led group sessions and respite retreats.

After making the first phone call and speaking with Julie, co-founder of the charity, she was put in touch with a counsellor the same day.

Heather received 14 counselling sessions in total and went to the charity’s retreat in Castle Douglas for two days with Gary and their eight-year-old son Jack, which proved vital in coping with their loss.

“The support I received was just phenomenal, the sessions allowed me to properly grieve everything I had been through.”

Channelling grief and helping others

After helping to fundraise for Baby Loss Retreat, Heather started to volunteer once a week. It wasn’t long after that she applied for the role of Charity co-ordinator, a role funded by The National Lottery Community Fund.

“It was exactly what I needed. I don’t think I’ll ever get closure for Jorgia, but by doing this and supporting other parents with their loss journey it makes a massive difference.

“I do it for Jorgia, when I go to my bed at night I know I’ve done something good. And it’s fantastic that the National Lottery are funding it, it’s given us a chance to help more people who have gone through similar experiences.”

“When I speak to parents I can empathise and understand what they’re going through. The beauty of this charity is the majority of people working here and volunteering here have lived experience, so we understand what it’s like to lose a baby.

“If you have suffered a baby loss, you are not by yourself and don’t be frightened to reach out for support. We’re here and we can support you.”

Wave of Light Service

Baby Loss Retreat will be hosting their annual Wave of Light service Friday 15^th of October at 6:30pm for a 7pm start, at St. Augustine’s in Coatbridge.

The service brings families together from all over who have been through the loss of a baby. It’s a time to reflect together as a group and remember their babies by lighting a candle. Everyone is welcome.

To find out more about their event visit the Baby Loss Retreat Facebook page.

And for more information about there services visit the Baby Loss Retreat website.